Think About the Desired Outcome… and How to Get There

We usually get mad because there’s a problem.  We want things to be different than they are and we get angry when we decide that someone is to blame for that difference.

A good way to manage anger then is to think about how we want things to be and what we can do, if anything, to make things how we want.  Are you angry about the way you’re being treated by a friend or family member?  Is there anything you can do to get them to treat you differently?  Are you angry about how long it takes your kids to get out the door to school each morning?  Are there ways you can work with them to solve that problem?

Note that the way to the desired outcome is rarely to yell, scream, or swear at people.  There’s nothing wrong with a good rant every now and then, but usually the solution to an angering problem is some sort of level-headed focus on the solution.

Check out the All the Rage Podcast Series on Losing Control for more info on the dos and don’ts for dealing with unwanted anger.