Ruminating is the tendency to go over and over an angering event in your mind. We think about what we could have said, should have said, etc. Though ruminating isn’t all bad (it helps us process negative events to make sense of them), it’s not particularly good for us and it is important to find ways to keep it under control. Here are four strategies to stop ruminating.
- Engage in activities that foster positive thoughts (e.g., exercise, a hobby).
- Problem solve by coming up with one concrete thing you can do to address the angering situation.
- Think less about the event and more about the core feeling that might be driving the anger (e.g., are you feeling angry because you are hurt, sad, scared, etc.).
- Practice mindfulness.
Check out the All the Rage Podcast Series on Losing Control for more info on the dos and don’ts for dealing with unwanted anger.